How often in your busy life do you crave a more simple life? A balance in life that right now seems miles away? I read an interesting article recently about ambition and how the writer was unapologetically not ambitious. She craved the simple life and was happy not having huge goals to aim for but doing what she loved.
In some ways this is how I feel – I am doing exactly what I love doing – running the Get Unstuck in Two Days retreats and coaching and mentoring people to create the life they want. I do not feel the need to add more goals – just live the ones I am already living. And enjoy life.
However in our busy world we are told that if you don’t have an ever-growing ambition you are going backwards. And this not only causes a huge stress but also make us go for ‘more, more, more’ when in fact we might have already got to where we want.
Many come on retreat to create a balance in life.
I find that many types of people come on retreat, all wanting to create a balance in life in one way or another. In most cases they have ticked the boxes called success and discovered that although successful they do not have a life as such – it is all work and no time for relationships or family or friends. They know they want to change something but are worried about being left behind if they stop trying to hit those ambitious goals.
Now I have nothing against goals as long as they are your goals and not society’s goals or goals that others near to you either at work or personally think you ’should’ be going for. I remember the huge freedom I felt when I realised that I didn’t have to go for any goal – unless it was going to make me ridiculously happy. Then all the work would be worthwhile. Realising that in fact it is alright to stick at what I loved was a huge freedom.
I say to many who come on retreat that it is ok to follow your heart, you don’t need to tick someone else’s boxes. It is your life and if you want to create a balance in life then the only one you have to please is you. Just because your Boss thinks that you have even more potential than what you have currently achieved, if that is going to take away a quality of life that you crave – you don’t have to do it.
I had a client a few years ago who was a very successful HR Director of a multi-national company. As we worked together she started to see that in fact her family was so precious to her that she no longer wanted to put in the long commute and long hours that her job entailed. Yes she loved her job but not in the form it was in. We started to look at her values and what was important in all of her life. She started to put some parameters on what she was prepared to do and how much of her life she was prepared to devote to work. At first she was worried what her peers would think about what looked like a lack of ambition. She also worried about the possibility of getting both/and – a good job and a great life. However when she started to see how life could change and how she could live she got very excited. She also got very clear on what she wanted and, as I have seen countless times, that clarity led her to a great new opportunities – some just 20 minutes from home!
You don’t have to throw the baby out with the bathwater if you want to create balance in life
If you are craving a balance in life but worried about how it could happen it is also good for you to know that balance can be an inside job as much as a huge external change. I’d say that nearly 50% of the people who come on retreat don’t actually change much externally but completely change who they are being in their life. That change creates a better balance. As a recent client said:
“I came on the retreat just over a year ago when I was not enjoying life, felt burdened, couldn’t see how I could break out beyond my responsibilities.
A year later, many of the outside factors have not really changed (work FT, two small kids, mum to look after etc) but my outlook and the recognition of me within this, is 100000000% different.
This last piece we have just unlocked, i.e. following my heart, is something I have not been able to do for a very very very very long time. It’s a seismic change to remember what that feels like. And completely complementary to the other “revelations” along the way. So THANK YOU!!!”
So if you are craving a balance in life I just want you to know that it is not a bad thing, it doesn’t mean that all you’ve lived so far is a mistake. It just means you are ready for a change. Our needs do change and we are not supposed to do the same thing through all our lives. It is ok to have worked really hard and reached that place called success and then say, ok now I want something different.
Some of you will maybe want the simple life others may just want to simplify life and yet others will want to know how to simply live the life you’ve got. If you’d like to get some answers as to how to do any of these – then let’s chat. You can call me on +44(0) 203 239 6155 or drop me a line now. I look forward to helping you create a balance in life.
What is your life showing you right now? Maybe this story has resonated with you, or maybe you are wondering about things that are happening right now in your life. If you feel you’d like some help deciphering your life’s journey then let’s have a chat. You can email me or give me a call on +44 (0)203 239 6155