I was talking with a client recently about how important it is to make time for ourselves. So many people are very giving which is lovely but when it is in detriment to ourselves it actually does not help anyone. We become tired, burnt out and irritable and we, and everyone around us, suffers! If we want to be giving of our time and energy our first port of call is ourselves. We simply have to take care of ourselves.
There are very few people in our lives who will tell us to take care. Our close loved ones and those 3 or 4 really good friends may but many others will be oblivious to our real needs. For example it takes are rare Boss to notice when one of their employees is overdoing things and tell them to take time out.
So how do we do this in our busy lives?
This is where the idea of PJ Sundays comes in. PJ Sundays are literally as they sound – they are a full day when you do not get out of your PJ’s. In other words nothing has any pull on your time. Now you may chose not to stay in your actual PJ’s but you get the idea. It is about using that whole day for you.
– You can stay in bed if you want to.
– You can read trashy novels or that really interesting book you’ve had on your bedside table for ages.
– You can indulge in eating breakfast all day.
– You can watch the movies you’ve been promising yourself.
– You can take some quiet time and meditate or contemplate where you are in life.
– You can turn your phone off and have a people free day.
– You can get up and take a lovely solitary walk, stopping and looking at the surroundings, noticing the world.
– You can do some yoga or something gentle to feel good about your body.
– You can fast for a day and give your body a break.
– You can simply sit and be.
There are a myriad of things you can do on a PJ Sunday – and the most important aspect of them is that you get to choose.
It is whatever makes you feel relaxed, recharged, and rejuvenated. It helps if it has a slightly (or not even slightly) indulgent feeling to it. What you want to feel at the end of the day is good. Good about yourself, good in how you feel physically, good mentally and replenished to get back out into the world the next day.
Now if you have a family you may be thinking that this is impossible. It’s not, it will just take some organising. You’ll have to arrange with your partner to have the kids for the day. Preferably take them out somewhere so you have the space to yourself. Or if that is totally impractical then go stay with a friend who will let you just be for a day in their home. You may offer a reciprocal day for them, because you will benefit from them take care of themselves too.
The added extras of a PJ Sunday
Not only are PJ Sundays good for us physically, mentally and emotionally to have that time out but it also has a bigger, deeper impact. By actually giving ourselves a whole day we are effectively saying – “I matter”. This is a crucial message to our unconscious mind. Our self-esteem grows when we take care of ourselves. By giving ourselves that time out we will feel better about ourselves. The knock on effect from that is that throughout the rest of the time we will make better decisions for ourselves. Because we feel better about ourselves we can even begin to say no to the things that drains us and do not serve us or what we need in life. The effect of taking just one day out a month can have a wonderful domino effect.
A PJ Sunday will have a much greater effect than we might have imagined, try it out for yourself and see.
There is a second impact too. If we constantly put others first and ourselves last then the message we are sending to the rest of the world is that we don’t matter. The external world is a mirror of what we believe and so if we act as if we believe we don’t matter then that’s what we will get. Send that message out and the rest of the world will follow suit. As soon as we take care of ourselves then we will find that others do too.
How can give yourself a PJ Sunday?
1. Make the decision to give yourself a PJ Sunday. Decide when you want it to be and how often because these are not just a one off.
2. Get the buy-in of others if they are involved. If you have a family or dependants make whatever arrangements to clear your PJ Sunday. Let them know just how better you’ll be for the rest of the week. If you want you can also make reciprocal arrangements for your partner.
3. Book them into your diary – this is crucial, especially if they are a couple of weeks ahead. Make sure the whole day is blocked out and when someone invites you to do something – the answer is sorry I can’t I’m busy – you don’t have to say what with if you don’t want to!
4. Commit to making these days sacrosanct for you – this has to be your gift to yourself and so you are the one who makes this happen. It starts with a firm commitment.
5. Be flexible with what you do – plan the free day and see how you feel when you wake up that morning. Have no preconceived ideas as to what you are going to do, no to do list, just be in the moment and follow your heart. It’s your day.
6. Enjoy it all – relish it, feel really special and tell yourself that you deserve every single wonderful minute of your PJ Sunday.
PJ Sundays are really important for me in my life, and I am lucky that in that I can chose them to be as regular as I want. I always have at least one a month, sometimes even more. I really encourage you to have them too – they will make such a profound difference to how you feel, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Putting you first is paramount, only then can you give fully to all those around you that you love.
PJ Sundays is one of the many ideas I talk about with those I work with and if you feel you’d like to discuss this or anything you are grappling with in your life that is stopping you live the life you want then let’s chat. Do drop me an email or give me a call on +44 (0) 203 239 6155 and we can arrange a time for a Discovery Session.
What is your life showing you right now? Maybe this has resonated with you, or maybe you are wondering about things that are happening right now in your life. If you feel you’d like some help deciphering your life’s journey then let’s have a chat. You can email me or give me a call on +44 (0)751 891 4604